6 Weeks about

Monday 4/4/2011 3:15 pm   - Okay almost a month and a half.  Part of me is desperate to go back on FB because then I would know where other kids in my son's class have gotten into college.   I am happy for him - he has good choices but he has some tough decisions to make this month and somehow knowing how other kids fared will make me feel better.  But then I think about how long it would take to gather friends again - or maybe not.   Staying off FB is really compelling me to spend more time thinking and then perhaps writing instead of just reacting to other people's posts all the time.   So I am resisting for now and the window for learning about college choices on FB is rapidly disappearing.   I suppose there will be all those graduation BBQ parties in June for all of that.

Three weeks past 3/18/11

This is the first really strong compulsion I have felt to want back on.    It really has been three weeks and the change in my life is dramatic.   This compulsive element is gone.   But here I am with 1/2 hour to kill before needing to be somewhere and I've logged on with no where to go because I no longer get enormous amounts of e-mail.   Two men have sent me "Friend" requests on Saatchi-Online - an art thing - because they want me to vote for their art.   Suddenly I wanted access to people I knew on FB.   But do I really feel isolated or is this a fake thing?    It feels like you are really communcating with people and yet you are not - but the small amount of contact feeds something that compels me to get that fix several times a day - when I was on FB.   It's still not enough to go back on and I have to go now anyway.  At least it's got me writing again.

Day Six 2/24/11 12:48 am

Here it is almost 1 am and I'm blogging.  This is almost as bad as FB.   But my sister called me today - Happy Birthday - and we talked about FB of course and why I left - then I end up asking her, "okay tell me what's going on"  - so I can keep up with the gossip.   Turns out there are new pictures of me on there from high school with an old friend who just passed away - now I want to see them.   I will have to go on my husband's account.  Is that cheating?   Do I want back on?   No not really.


Okay - Reason #1 to Hate FB - Nonstop intrusive comments on all and every post by certain not to be mentioned persons.

Reason #1 to Love FB - I get to see my friends' babies grow up.

Day Four 2/22/11 9:58 pm

Yesterday someone asked me if I could friend them on Facebook and I had to tell them no.   I can no longer do that.   Another friend e-mailed to say that she missed me on FB.   Two sisters e-mailed to wish me Happy Birthday - I will not get my FB birthday greetings this year.   But I still do not miss it.  

It's just less that I have to pay attention to or feel compelled to pay attention to.
Besides that's four e-mails I might not have gotten otherwise.   E-mails that the rest of the world or my "friends" did not see.

My own son tells me there were times when he spoke whole sentences to me and I didn't acknowledge him because I was too wrapped up in FB.  He still doesn't believe I've quit for good.

My husband says I'll be back on in a few weeks.

I am busy composing lists in my head of reasons to like it and reasons to not like it.

I think this blog is my challenge to myself not to go back.

Day Three 2/21/11 11:03 am

Okay it has now been two whole days since I dropped my FB addiction.   A beautiful snowy President's Day.   We woke up to 6 inches of powdery fluff which has covered over the ugliness and mud which was exposed after the melt of the last huge storm.   A season of being house bound - ice and snow - Vitamin D deficiency - the month of my birth - Seasonal Affective Disorder.   Why would I choose to purposely cut myself off from friends and family - some as far away as Moscow - at this gloomy, lonely time of year?    I don't completely know....maybe that is why this blog.    Because you could say, "What a hypocrite.  You dropped FB just to take up blogging?"    That's it exactly - except not really - I did not go on the computer but once yesterday and I spent the entire day out of doors skiing.   On Sat when I officially "de-activiated" my account and they make you do all the security checks to do so (also reminding you that you can re-activate at any time and pick up where you left off) - I admit to being drawn to the computer and logging on several times - but that magic FB portal was no longer there and I could not enter!   My time on the computer was shorter more limited - the compulsion less strong - the need to see my sister-in-law's posts (tho I love hear dearly) about her cooking all gone!

I spent a good part of the day cleaning up and putting away supplies in my basement studio which I am reclaiming after 5 years - and I sat playing with things not really with any direction or thought.

Day One

I just quit Facebook and I have a grin on my face now.   We'll see how it goes but I feel like I ran away from home!